I was thinking today about a few of the things that I should keep in my mind to inspire me to keep on the straight and narrow path to success. One of the things I thought Id like to keep my focus on was my memories of being thin and healthy. You know that saying `` Nothing tastes as good as thin feels``. Well let me tell you, it is the truth. It wasnt just the way my body felt, or me being in it rather, but how I felt about myself. Confident, pretty, powerful, semi-normal..lol. I think it was nice to just feel like a regular person. Oh the preoccupied mind of the heavy set! I know it may not seem evident to the thin person but overweight people everywhere Im sure can relate.
When you are overweight you have such a heavy burden to carry. Not only the weight itself but all the thoughts and actions that go along with it. For example, we are true multi-taskers! I mean sometimes even just a conversation with someone we might not know so well can turn into a stressful situation....I better not laugh too hardily as it pronounces my double chin, is my shirt clinging, I know its clinging, better keep pulling it down every 10 seconds like some sort of freak. Is this person noticing me pulling my shirt down too often. If I hold my purse in front of me it might hide my belly better, or I just wont take my jacket off but its hot as hell. I wonder if they know Im not taking my jacket off cause I dont want them to see my enormity.
Im sure you get the picture. These thoughts and actions are exhausting! Talk about never being in the moment! Im suprised I can even concentrate on what a person is saying half the time! This is why Im going to focus on how it will feel to once again be thin and not focus on the elephant in the room (no pun intended but come on...lol) I want to move forward so that is where I will place my focus. I remember the better days and that is where Im headed....Where is your head at when you need some focus?
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Yeah, I feel you there. It's nice when you're doing something with really good friends and you forget, for a moment how big you are. Then innevitably you walk by a mirror, or try to do something and get reminded that you are indeed bigger and such.
I find it easier to be myself around people that are of like size. Several of my boyfriend's army friends are bigger, not necessarily fat, but just more muscular, so I feel more comfortable around them because they are not super skinny. I do have one friend, though that is pretty skinny (she says she's not but she is!) and I often cringe when she asks to hang out because I'm much more self concious about my weight around her. One of those if she thinks SHE is fat, what does she think I am? An elephant? lol.
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